The Doctor's Daughter- Death Becomes Her
by StarkyGirl
Summary: Just a dream or is it? A one shot of how the Doctor would cope while his daughter dies in his arms due to an unknown illness. Can he fulfill his daughter's last wishes or does he give up? (I do not own any of the Doctor Who characters, I simply own Ella-Marie Stark )


What if the Doctor out lives his own child? What if she died and it was by his hand? What if she ended up like any other friend he had? Did he think this would be different just because it was his daughter?

The Doctor questioned these thoughts over and over again since the day he first met Ella. He had not ever considered the thought of having children because he thought it to be impossible. When River had made him aware, he was overjoyed, shocked a little but mainly overjoyed at the news bought forth to him.

For months he went about making sure everything was perfect because he didn't want to screw up this time. He made sure River was always in perfect health and well looked after, right to the point that he made sure a nurse came out most weeks to do check ups. "The baby's fine, stop worrying," River would constantly reassure him, constantly let him know that what he was doing was welcomed but there were days where she'd rather just sit there and take a few breaths without him running around after her.

It kept him busy though, kept him going because losing the Ponds had killed him a little inside, but somehow the news of having a child patched up that wound he had suffered for so long. Maybe he could start over again?  
A wish that seemed so close yet in reality it was in fact further away than any father could have possibly imagined.

The soft rasping breath was carried around the room on a soft breeze that had found its way through a crack in the window panelling. The pacing of feet against wooden flooring had been apparent for hours now, only did it stop when the broken murmur for a father was made.

The pacing stopped again, the first time in three hours. In a flash a pair of booted feet rushed to the side of the four poster bed, the blue sheets draped over an almost lifeless body, dark curls tainted with grey strands was being brushed back from sea blue eyes as they peered up at what they once regarded as a hero.

The Doctor's fingers gently stroked his daughter's cheeks, his hazel eyes were stained with clear tears, cracked lips pressed against the hand of his precious child. "Sweet Pond, I am so sorry…" He murmured as his voice wavered, holding back a flood of tears. His throat burned as the lump grew and grew with every passing moment and yet it seemed his daughter tried to keep smiling.

"We all knew that you'd carry on without me, the tragic life of the last Time Lord. Father, please do not apologise." The Doctor was desperate to hold onto her, to keep her in his grasp and not let go. His daughter begged him for different though, to carry on, start anew but how could a father go on once he had lost the perfect daughter? "No… I should have saved you," He tried so desperately to tell himself different but deep down he knew there was nothing he could have done.

Ella's eyes closed once more as she lay there, all she ever asked from her father was to see the stars and he gave her that. Even now as she lay here, the stars watched down on her from the ceiling, the gold glittering in the soft rays of sunshine that doused the room. She wanted to go out peacefully, without the pain, without the heartache or looming prophecies. She was to simply die, here in her father's arms, her husband at her side and her girls at the foot of her bed.

Narfi had begged the Doctor to do something, to fight the disease that had engulfed his precious wife. Alas though, for the Doctor was faced with an illness that he had never come across before and thus left him with little choice. His daughter had reached her final life, no regenerations at hand without giving his own to her and even then he had to abide by Ella's wish to not pass his lives to her.

The Doctor blamed himself, if she had never been stolen from him then she would have survived, free to live longer, embrace life more and see the things she had planned to see. If she had stayed under the care of her parents, if the men had never taken her that night and placed a demon within her, if she had never gone to work under gods then she'd be safe here with him and not once had the need to regenerate.

He pressed his forehead to Ella's hand, murmuring soft prayers to the gods he once left behind. Who would have thought he would run back to the people he abandoned, the people he killed off to save a billion lives? The Doctor never thought he'd end up here, lost and alone and not a soul to save him. Cold fingers curled around the Doctor's, the mellifluous English tone spoke up again and embraced the Doctor's ears once more, "Father, promise me you will not travel alone. You have a family here to love and care for," A weak and trembling hand gestured to the family she loved, Narfi, Li and Sereda.

The Doctor glanced to the three of them, a tear slipping down his cheek as he clenched his jaw tightly. He was stubborn, infuriated and above all hurt. They were not the same, they were not his Pond and above all not blood. There was not a single Gallifreyan cell pumping its way around their bodies, not a single strand of DNA that could posses such god like powers that he or Ella owned. "I can't Pond… I can't," He wanted to reason with her, to harshly say why but he couldn't bring himself to hurt the one thing he loved.

"Please father, I have never asked you for anything but for your smile. Now I am asking you to accept them like you accepted me, you are a good man and I know you can do this for me." Ella's eyes fluttered open and glanced at her father. Oh how the sorrow he felt was written across his young features, how the weight of the universe rested in his eyes. The hand he held onto slipped free and gently grasped the cheek of the Doctor. Her thumb ran across his ashen cheek, wiping the fallen tear and ridding the wet track it left behind.

The Doctor pressed his face against her hand, wanting to bury himself against her if it meant saving her. The double heart beat of his daughter's had become faint, barely audible even to those with incredible hearing. A sigh escaped the girl, the girl who had seen and experienced so much, the girl who was as old as the god she had married. "I lived into my thousands, that has to mean something right?" Ella asked, a chuckle in her voice as she tried to get her father to smile. The Doctor lowered his head, his hand grasping the one pressed against his cheek, "It was more than something Little Pond. You saved people when I couldn't, you made me see the good in the bad and you never stopped once to think about yourself. You're too much like your father."

His voice cracked a fair few times as he spoke, inside he was questioning everything. Why did he have to suffer this? Why did he have to watch his child die and have no way of saving her? He gulped hard, the lump of tears barely dislodging from its hold in his throat. A trembled intake of breath was taken in, sharp and painful but the Doctor didn't care, he convinced himself he deserved to be brutally punished with every breath he took from here on out.

His damp eyes took a fleeting look at the clock on the bedside cabinet, it read 7:01PM and he knew that within a few minutes he'd be wailing his heart out, cursing the skies, the stars… the human race and the universe because his daughter was soon to take her last breath. He shook his head, the floppy fringe fell in his eyes to hide the ache he was encountering. "I love you Ella-Marie Pond, my sweet little girl, my angel, my pure bred soft-hearted and innocent little Pond," The Doctor leaned forward, pressing his lips to the pasty forehead of his daughter.

Everyone knows that everyone dies and no one knows it like the Doctor did. Ella sensed her time was coming because she was now working off of one heart, but she hid the pain from her father. As he kissed her goodbye, the last warm thing to feel, Ella whispered back, "I love you too father. I thank you for everything… even if you weren't there for those first few years." Her hand grasped his tightly, her eyes trailed over to her perfect little family and flashed them her regular cheeky grin. Even as her body failed on her, she had her sense of humour.

Narfi couldn't hold back the tears any more, the pain got to him and choked him up, and the flood of tears erupted as he held his girl close. "My love do not cry, our girls need you," For the first time in a long time she had accepted Sereda, even if Ella never mothered Narfi's little girl, she still loved her and her sweet Li? "Li, my little devil… you were so young but you have no idea that you pulled me through dark times, you taught me to love Sereda when I thought I couldn't and you made me see what I wished not to."

Her last words were slowly forcing everyone in the room to die a little inside, to weep and cry because they were losing the one person who bought so much to their lives. Ella gave Li a home, gave Sereda a mother's love even though Ella was a mere substitute, made Narfi realise that there would only be one woman in his life and above all, saved the Doctor from his despair. She deserved to have a thousand suns burn up in her name, to have species galore weep in her honour and thank her for what she had done.

The small smile that rested on Ella's lips stayed put, the sparkle that rested in her pure blue eyes began to fade, and her breathing became little with every moment. Her grip released on her father's hand even though the Doctor's stayed on hers. In that one brief moment Ella managed to push out four words, "I love you all," before she finally let her body shut down on her, to die in a peaceful slumber with her smile on her lips and the stars shining down on her.

Her last breath passed her lips, the final beat of her two hearts faded to nothing and her words were lost to the world. The Doctor's lower lip trembled as he tried to comprehend the loss of his daughter, the whimpers and sobs echoed out from the foot of the bed as the girls curled up against their father whom also broke down as his wife passed away.

The Doctor pressed his head against the cold hand of his daughter, his teeth threatening to draw blood from his lips as he bit down to halt the tears. It was no use, no father could hold back his cries of anguish and aches, his hearts broke in two and there in that moment he had no need to carry on. The Doctor would often keep going, even if he sulked for years on end but this, this topped him, wanted him to end everything and stop living because he'd lost his last lifeline.

He may have grandchildren, a son-in-law who had done his up most to love his sweet Pond but there was nothing now that could bring him from the pits of despair. "What do we do know?" Narfi managed to say something without breaking down into tears, the Doctor glanced at him with fire filled eyes, a snarl forming on his lips, "We have to burn her." His eyes returned to his daughter, lips pressed against her hand as he tried to form words without tears, "A Gallifreyan's body is something of wonder, if anyone were to get a hold of it, who knows what they could do?"

"Cremation? Even in death she is still a precious gem…" Narfi tried to laugh but all of this hit him so hard he couldn't tell his left from right anymore. The Doctor closed his eyes and blew some air out from his cheeks, forcing himself to breath. "I… erm... her brother needs to be informed, Valdez needs to know too…" Narfi stopped the Doctor in his tracks and added, "Slejpner needs to know, he was her best friend, he did everything for her."

The Doctor nodded in agreement as he rubbed his eyes, a familiar ache in his chest made itself known as his left heart took on twice the work. His right heart had failed on him. When he was told that something worse was to come, that the people of the stars and the men and women who warned him of his fate, he had not realised it would come so soon. "The end of days is to come Doctor, your daughter will be the death of you…"

**The Doctor snapped out of his sleeping, finding his little girl waltzing around the console and humming to herself as she worked the levers on the other side. His hearts were racing, his breathing heavy. That dream was far too real for him...**


End file.
